I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
