Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
