ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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