i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
this is an emotional support booty call
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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