also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
