we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
