Can Purell be used as lube?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
