im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
