So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
