Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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