Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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