I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
