Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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