I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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