a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you have to choose: penises or morals?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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