All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
