garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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