oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize