Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
