oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
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AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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