you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
