She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
