When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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