is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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