Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
