Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
