I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
