my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
