I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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