I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
