That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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