On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
