just tell him i said nine months
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
