is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize