Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
