xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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