i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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