Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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