I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
