I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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