We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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