do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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