the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
