So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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