Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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