I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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