Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
