So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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