if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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