"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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