In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
