It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
