i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Randomize
