You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
