Buhtt sex?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
