I'll bet she douches with gravy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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