haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
