I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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