but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
