Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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