Just fell off a train. Bad.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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