I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
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tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.