are you so shy because you have an std?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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