There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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