so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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