happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
