That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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