Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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