His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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