he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
