Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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